Artemis Fowl's C-Cube: The Ultimate Hacking Machine

The books kids read today strike me as a lot more interesting than most of what I read in school. Furthermore, the boring old book report has been supplanted by more engaging formats. For example, my son recently recruited me to perform in his trailer for The Eternity Code, a project he produced for his 6th grade English teacher. This book is the third in Eoin Colfer's gripping Artemis Fowl series about an Irish boy criminal mastermind who discovers and befriends secret, subterranean, high-tech fairies.

Exclusive Episode of The Office

My friend Christine Crawford is moving to Wisconsin this week, as she and her husband begin an exciting new chapter in their lives. But her gain is Bessemer's loss, as Christine has been our California office manager, and my assistant, for 13 years. Anyone who has worked with me knows that Christine is a star, and she will be missed.

To say goodbye to Christine, my kids have performed this souvenir for her:

I was a Drunken Mohel

Magic By Numbers

I have such high expectations from the NY Times that I always feel betrayed when they print garbage.

In today's Sunday issue, Harvard psychology professor and TV personality Daniel Gilbert penned an editorial titled “Magic by Numbers: Why a Roman Emperor is responsible for the 7-day antibiotic course.” Gilbert asserts that because human beings are irrationally drawn to use certain numbers relating to our 10 fingers and 7x24 calendars, medical therapies are now polluted with these numbers rather than numbers with scientific merit.

He bases his findings on a compelling plethora of evidence: 1) his own ruminations; 2) a flawed understanding of history;  3) a handful of anecdotes; and 4) completely uninformed speculation of how prescriptions are formulated.

The whole idea came to him because a doctor had prescribed a 7 day course of anti-biotics.

“Why not six, eight, or nine-and-a-half? Did the number seven correspond to some biological fact about the human digestive tract or the life cycle of bacteria?

My doctor seemed smart. She probably went to one of the nation’s finest medical schools, and regardless of where she trained, she certainly knew more about medicine than I did. And yet, as I walked out of the ER that night with my prescription in hand, I couldn’t help but suspect that I’d just been treated with magic.”

Gilbert goes on to assert that people tend to use the number 7 because a Roman emperor coined the 7 day week. (My 11 year old recently taught me that the Neo-Babylonians invented the 7 day week in the 6^th century BC – which simply points to Gilbert’s allergy to research.) Therefore that must be why antibiotics are prescribed for exactly 7 days.

He backs up his evidence for "magic numbers" with anecdotes of how people sometimes round off numbers to the nearest ten or five. But is that really such an amazing discovery of the human psyche -- that we choose to call someone back in 20 minutes rather than 17? Rounding numbers is a practical technique for remembering and tracking quantities. In no way does it imply that doctors must be plagiarizing from their calendars.

In fact, if Gilbert had simply asked his very smart, educated doctor, she could have explained that Yes, seven days does correspond to biological facts! Clinical studies clearly show that for this particular drug, six days is not always enough, and eight days is almost never needed. Why not 6.8, or 7.2? That’s easy – rounding off numbers when it comes to prescriptions improves patient compliance, a health benefit that far outweighs the fine tuning of a decimal place.

Further, Gilbert could have learned through a simple Google query that in fact there are just as many meds prescribed for 5, 6 or 8 days. Fortunately, Gilbert ignored these irrelevant facts by declining to ever collect them. 

This ability to infer patterns from incomplete anecdotes must somewhere violate a business process patent owned by Malcom Gladwell. Indeed I had to check the byline to see if this was another brilliant Gladwell phenomenon. And then I saw the web site for Gilbert's book touting him as the next Gladwell! (Coincidentally, just yesterday I read about Gilbert's book on finding happiness-- it's a target of this month's Skeptic Magazine cover story debunking the happiness craze.)

But 7 isn’t the only magic number, writes Gilbert. He speculates that his antibiotics are prescribed 3 times per day because 3 implies a beginning, middle and end. (Really.) Again, a doctor could have explained to him about the timing of chemical breakdowns, and the compliance benefits of prescribing meds every morning, every morning/night, or at every meal.

But not just 7 and 3. According to Gilbert, nine is also a magic number as evidenced by all the prices that end in 99 cents.

But not just 3, 7 and 9. Four and six are magic, too, because they have soft-sounding syllables. (Really.)

And of course 5 and 10 are magic because they correspond to the fingers on our hands.

But that’s it. Those are the only “magic numbers” that everyone likes. 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 9 and 10. (He might be discouraged to learn that no one read his editorial because it appeared on page 8.)

Oh, and also 12, because it “corresponds to a half turn of our planet.” But that’s all. 

The good news here is that Gilbert has just provided us forever with the canonical example of Pop Psychology. But that's just my 2 cents.

Phone Call from The Census

The US Census office in New York has had to fire workers due to fraud. The new folks there must still be learning the ropes. This actual telephone call to my friend Erik Gordon was transcribed immediately upon hanging up, so it's practically verbatim...

Ring. Ring.

ERIK: "Hello?"

CHARLOTTE: "Hello.  This is Charlotte calling from the 2010 United States Census.  We've left you a couple of messages over the past few weeks but you haven't returned our calls.  I'm calling to ask you some additional questions about the census form that you recently completed.  This should take only a few minutes."

ERIK: "Okay."

CHARLOTTE: "Can I start by verifying your address?"

ERIK: "Yes, it's the one you have on the form -- 68 East 78th Street in New York."

CHARLOTTE: "And is this the Gordon household?"

ERIK: "Yes."

CHARLOTTE: "And who completed the census form on behalf of the household?"

ERIK: "I did. I'm the only one who lives here."

CHARLOTTE: "And what is your name?"

ERIK: "Erik Gordon. Don't you have that on the form I filled out?"

CHARLOTTE: "Yes."

ERIK: "So why are you asking me again?"

CHARLOTTE (reading): "We need to make sure that the 2010 US Census is an accurate count of every person in the United States and that no person is double counted.  This should take only a few minutes."

ERIK: "Okay."

CHARLOTTE: "So Erik Gordon filled out the census form on behalf of your household?"

ERIK: "Yes, I did."

CHARLOTTE: "And am I speaking to Erik Gordon?"

ERIK: "Um, yes.  But I think we've covered this, no?"

CHARLOTTE: "Yes, but I need to ask the questions in the order they appear on my screen."

ERIK: "Okay."

CHARLOTTE: "Mr. Gordon, how many people were living at your address on April 1, 2010?"

ERIK: "Just me.  I'm the only one who lives here."

CHARLOTTE: "So should I put 'One?'"

ERIK: "Probably."

CHARLOTTE: "Mr. Gordon, do you have children, babies or foster children living with you?"

ERIK (louder): "I'm the only one here."

CHARLOTTE: "It's a yes or no question, Mr. Gordon."

ERIK: "If I'm the only one here, then the answer is 'No,' right?"

CHARLOTTE: "Okay, I'm going to put 'No.'"

ERIK: "Good idea."

CHARLOTTE: "Mr. Gordon, do you have any other relatives living with you?"

ERIK: "I'm the only one here."

CHARLOTTE: "I can't put that."

ERIK: "I don't care."

CHARLOTTE: "Mr. Gordon, we need to make sure that the 2010 US Census is an accurate count of every person in the United States and that no person is double counted.  This should take only a few minutes."

ERIK: "But all of this is on the form I filled out."

CHARLOTTE: "I know.  I have it here."

ERIK: "So why are you asking me the same questions?"

CHARLOTTE: "Mr. Gordon, this should take only a few minutes."

ERIK: "This should take no minutes."

CHARLOTTE: "Mr. Gordon, are you refusing to answer the questions?  Because if you're refusing to answer the questions, I'm going to have to call you back."

ERIK: "I'm not refusing to answer the questions, Charlotte.  I already answered them."

CHARLOTTE: "When?"

ERIK: "On the form you have in front of you."

CHARLOTTE: "Oh."

ERIK: "Yes."

CHARLOTTE: "Mr. Gordon, this should only take a few minutes.  Can I ask if you have any nonrelatives, such as roommates or babysitters living with you?"

ERIK: "I'm the only one here."

CHARLOTTE: "Mr. Gordon, you know I can't put that."

ERIK: "No, Charlotte, no. I don't have anyone else living here!"

CHARLOTTE: "No roomates or babysitters?"

ERIK: "No!"

CHARLOTTE: "I'm going to put 'No.'  Mr. Gordon, do you have anyone living with you temporarily?"

ERIK: "Charlotte, you know what I'm going to say, right?"

CHARLOTTE: "Mr. Gordon, it's a yes or no question."

ERIK: "Charlotte, you've already asked me about relatives and nonrelatives.  Who else could be living with me?"

CHARLOTTE: "Anyone living with you temporarily, such as any illegal aliens."

ERIK: "Yes, Charlotte.  I forgot.  I do have illegal aliens living with me."

CHARLOTTE: "How many?"

ERIK: "I live with approximately twelve thousand illegal Mexican immigrants.  But please don't put that down, I don't want to get in trouble."

CHARLOTTE: "Mr. Gordon, I have to put it down."

ERIK: "Please don't put it down.  They're nice people.  They’ve traveled far."

CHARLOTTE: "I'm sorry, Mr. Gordon.  I have to put it down."

ERIK: "Okay, put it down."

CHARLOTTE: "Okay."

ERIK: "Charlotte, did you really just put down that I live with 12,000 illegal Mexican immigrants?"

CHARLOTTE: "No.  I just put twelve."

ERIK: "Why?"

CHARLOTTE: "I don't have enough room."

ERIK: "Okay."

CHARLOTTE: "Mr. Gordon, were you away from this address anytime in March or April of 2010?"

ERIK: "What do you mean?"

CHARLOTTE: "What do *you* mean?"

ERIK: "Are you asking me if I left my apartment anytime in March or April?"

CHARLOTTE: "Yes."

ERIK: "Then 'Yes.'"

CHARLOTTE: "Mr. Gordon, where did you go?"

ERIK: "Charlotte, I went a lot of places."

CHARLOTTE: "I only have one line."

ERIK: "That's too bad, Charlotte, because I went *a lot* of places."

CHARLOTTE: "But I only have one line."

ERIK: "So what do you want me to tell you?"

CHARLOTTE: "I don't know.  Do you want me to ask my supervisor?"

ERIK: "Actually, I think you should ask your supervisor."

CHARLOTTE (returning to the phone after putting me on hold for two or three minutes): "I think we should just put 'Don't Know.'"

ERIK: "Fine."

CHARLOTTE: "Mr. Gordon, in March and April of 2010 where did you spend most of your time: at your address in New York or in Don't Know?"

ERIK: "New York.  Don't Know isn't a real place."

CHARLOTTE: "Okay.  New York.  Is there any other place you spent most of your time?"

ERIK: "Charlotte, what does that mean?"

CHARLOTTE: "You said you spent most of your time in New York.  Is there any other place where you spent most of your time?"

ERIK: "Charlotte, how can I spend most of my time in more than one place?"

CHARLOTTE (after thinking it over): "I think we should put 'Don't Know.'"

ERIK: "Okay.  Let's put that."

CHARLOTTE: "Okay."

ERIK: "Okay."

CHARLOTTE: "Mr. Gordon, other than New York and Don't Know, did you spend any time anywhere else?"

ERIK: "Pardon?"

CHARLOTTE: "Other than New York and Don't Know, did you spend any time anywhere else?"

ERIK: "Other than New York and Don't Know?"

CHARLOTTE: "Yes."

ERIK: "No.  I spent all of my time in New York and Don't Know."

CHARLOTTE: "How about prison?"

ERIK: "How about prison?"

CHARLOTTE: "Did you spend any time in prison in March or April of 2010?"

ERIK: "No, I was only in New York and Don't Know."

CHARLOTTE: "Okay."

ERIK: "Okay."

CHARLOTTE: "Okay.  Mr. Gordon, did you spend any time in the military?"

ERIK: "No."

CHARLOTTE: "Mr. Gordon, did you spend any time in a nursing home?"

ERIK: "Charlotte, can we just put 'Don't Know' for the rest of the questions so we can both get on with our lives?"

CHARLOTTE: "No, I can't do that.  You need to answer every question.  This should take only a few minutes."

ERIK: "It’s already been more than a few minutes."

CHARLOTTE: "Mr. Gordon, are you refusing to answer the questions? Because if you're refusing to answer the questions--"

ERIK: "I don't want you to call me back Charlotte.  I did not spend any time in a nursing home in March or April of 2010.  I was too busy in Don't Know."

CHARLOTTE: "What?"

ERIK: "No.  No time in a nursing home."

CHARLOTTE: "Mr. Gordon, that was the last question.  On behalf of the 2010 United States Census, thank you and have a good evening."

The New Flock on Chromium

Today Flock is launching a complete redesign of their social web browser based on Google's open source Chromium. Flock is now the fastest browser I've ever used, and the redesign is highly streamlined, with no extraneous chrome or buttons.

The social features are dead simple -- most prominently, a right-hand sidebar that streams Twitter, Facebook and RSS feeds, made specifically for people active on those social networks. (The prior version of Flock is already the most popular desktop application in Facebook, with 7.5 million Facebook users, growing 600% in the last year; beyond Facebook we've delivered 17 million downloads with zero marketing spend thanks to word of mouth, and our users have already initiated billions of social transactions in Flock.)

With a rev share deal with Google, Flock now features Google as the default search engine. Flock is available in 34 languages, with users in 192 countries and territories. You can download it here.

New Flock from Flockstar on Vimeo.

"Not Terribly Disappointed!"

My a capella group's concert Saturday night with The Manhattan Transfer couldn't have gone better. We sold out the California Theatre and felt great about our performance. Lots of twitter love. Here's a segment from a review posted on AllAboutJazz.com:

The second group was a 60 man chorus called Voices in Harmony. They sang 5 or 6 numbers ranging from showtunes to a Sinatra medley to a beautiful version of Billy Joel's "And So It Goes". During their version of "Cruella DeVille" (yes, the song from Disney's "101 Dalmatians") they incorporated a lot of movement to really add to the comedic intent of the song. Not having known that either of these groups were going to be performing at this show, I was certainly impressed by both of them and not terribly disappointed that their performances left less time for TMT.

Thanks to all my friends who came out for the show, both on stage and in the audience.