Bubble Memory

100% actual conversation (except the name is changed) from late 1998, when investment banks--like other go-go firms in the dot-com ecosystem--were starved for talent:

CHRISTINE (my assistant): I have Gilligan Weiner from Robertson Stephens on the line. Are you available?

[I don't know this Weiner but these days a call from Robertson is usually good news. Maybe he's representing an acquiror?]

ME: Okay, I'll take it.... Hello, this is David.

GILLIGAN: Hi, this is Gilligan Weiner from Robertson Stephens, and I'm calling you because you're on the board of Flycast.

ME: Yes?

GILLIGAN: I need to know the company's revenues, and the valuation of the last round.

[is his voice cracking? has he even reached puberty yet?]

ME: I see. Flycast is a private company, and so we don't publish financial information. Why are you asking?

GILLIGAN: I'm doing research and I really need the revenues and valuation for Flycast.

[compelling!]

ME: Well, Flycast is a private company, and so we don't disclose that information.

GILLIGAN: Oh... [awkward silence]

ME: You know, I'd be happy to send you all the financials for Flycast if you would just fax me your tax returns first.

GILLIGAN: Umm, what's your fax number?

[I really swear to--well, whomever atheists swear to--that this is true.]

ME: 650-853-7001.

GILLIGAN: Do you want my tax returns or the firm's?

ME: I really need both.

GILLIGAN: Um, okay, I'll get back to you.

ME: Great, look forward to it.

GILLIGAN: Thank you, Bye.

ME: Bye.

I'd have loved to hear the conversation that ensued, as Gilligan asked the Skipper for a copy of the firm's tax returns to send me.

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