Spiritual Guidance

Attack of the Zombie Bikini Babes

Okay, so zombies, bikinis and bombs aren't new to the App Store, but together in one app?? This morning's release of Attack of the Zombie Bikini Babes from Outer Space (with original soundtrack!) makes me proud to be a shareholder in Smort.

Mashable calls it "hilarious... very addictive."

Mobilecrunch calls it "a pretty damn fun game...absolutely insane."

Gizmodo calls it "99-cent B-movie brilliance...it's totally worth a buck."




Sure, I could be investing in cleantech, but for me it's not just about the capital gains--backing Smort was an investment in our planet and our species. After all, someone needs to train the resistance...

A Capella Concerts This Weekend and Next

My chorus Voices in Harmony will be performing tomorrow night 8pm at the Gallo Center in Modesto (get tickets). Joining us will be the River Lights Chorus, with their salute to Elvis.

We're also performing with the Santa Clara Chorale next Saturday night 7:30pm at Mission Santa Clara on the Santa Clara university campus (get tickets).

The Fallacy of the Fallacy of Identity Theft

Okay, sometimes bad ideas just slink away on their own, but a reckless, poorly researched Wall Street Journal column has attracted enough tweetness to keep the bad meme recirculating. As much as I fear the wrath of Wall Street Journalists, I simply can't let this go uncorrected.

Earlier this week Julia Angwin posted a story titled The Fallacy of Identity Theft, in which she accused big corporate bad guys of conspiring against the poor folk to whip up a panic regarding the non-existent crime of identity theft. (After all, who can resist a corporate conspiracy story?)

As far as I know, no one can steal my identity. Even if my bank account number, my credit card number and all my passwords are stolen, I am fairly confident that I will still be me and the thief will be a different person.

Yes, the criminal will be masquerading as me. But anyone who knows me – my husband, my children, my colleagues, my doorman, my employer – will not be fooled. If "I" was actually stolen, I believe that would be called a kidnapping.

The entities that would be fooled by a masquerader are ones that don't really know me: my bank, my credit card company, places where I do online or offline shopping. Maybe they should have done a better job figuring out who I was before parting with my money or their goods....

Meanwhile, you wouldn't know it from the headlines, but identity fraud began to decline...independent researchers at Javelin Strategy & Research show fraud declining to $48 billion in 2008 from $58 billion in 2003...

It turns out that "identity theft" is one of the most brilliant linguistic constructs ever, with its terrifying specter of losing not just your money – but your soul. Maybe it's time that we renamed it what it is: a fear campaign designed to get us to buy expensive services that we don't need.

Oy. So much ignorance in this story -- where do I begin?

First and foremost, identity theft is a real crime, with real victims. The damage cannot be quantified by simply measuring the consumer's reported losses. It's true that at the end of the day, victims of ID theft do not lose their homes or cash -- when they finally document the fraud, the banks generally do return the asset. But it usually takes years (35 years, in this case) to find out what happened, convince the bank or merchant that you didn't really borrow their money, convince the credit bureaus to clear the reported deficiencies from your credit report, and then convince them again as the negative report circulates among the credit bureaus. And unless you're unusually lucky that law enforcement agencies are willing and able to catch the thieves, the thieves still have your data and continue to wreak havoc. And throughout this anxious, painful ordeal, don't even think about getting a credit card, mortgage, car loan or cell phone. Even checking into a hospital or getting a new job can be difficult. You might even end up in jail.

Oh, but you still have your soul, so what's the big deal? Well apparently it is a big deal to the victims, who have inundated Julia with a shit storm of comments and actual data regarding identity theft. I wonder why she didn't interview any victims prior to writing her cutesy rant? For example, she could have asked Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke, a rather sophisticated consumer who was still vicitmized. According to Bernanke, "Identity theft is a serious crime that affects millions of Americans each year."

Julia twists a lot of facts. She blames the banks for poor security but so what? Yes, it's their job to secure our assets, and that's why they eventually give the money back, but how does that cure the other, more painful consequences? Yes, some ID theft does hurt only banks, but not all of it. Yes, ID theft is often perpetrated by relatives, but so what? How does that mitigate the pain? Yes, direct financial losses are declining, but why doesn't she even mention the years of hassle, paperwork and bad credit that victims endure?

Most importantly, it is misleading to conclude from last year's reported decline in financial losses that ID theft is going away. Any vicitm's real pain is measured in years not in dollars, and so the much more relevant datum is that in 2008 alone the number of victims increased 22%, to 9.9 million in the US.

As for the term "identity theft" it was not coined by the industry, and it would have been easy for Julia to figure that out instead of lobbing speculation. (Hey Julia, wasn't "Heart Disease" invented by the medical industry to sell you more drugs?) The first known use of "Identity Theft" was in a newspaper article in 1966, and the term was applied to financial fraud as early as 1991 by the Social Security Administration, more than 12 years before "the industry" existed (ooh, the feds must be in on the conspiracy).

Julia's philosophical challenge to the literal meaning of "Identity Theft" is worthy of a midnight dorm room conversation. Dude, why call it a firewall--is there really a fire raging around it? Totally! And why call it a computer virus -- does your PC get a fever? And the clincher: "If I was actually stolen, I believe that would be called a kidnapping." (Oh damn, there goes our evil plot to trick people into confusing the two crimes.)

I could pick apart much more of her story, but Who Has Time For This? Obviously Julia is generating page views by whipping up corporate conspiracies and, in the process, recklessly advising people not to protect themselves from a very real and damaging crime. Then again, maybe I'm wrong about her and she'll retract her column in light of more information. I hope so.

Praying with Richard Dawkins to the Great Ramen

This week Dr. Richard Dawkins, the pre-eminent evolutionary scientist of our age, visited Menlo Park for the third time. He addressed a mandatory assembly of the Menlo School (!) and then Daniel Mendez and I co-hosted a fundraiser for the Richard Dawkins Foundation for Science and Reason, featuring the blasphemous a capella music of Hereby Chants. Thank you Christopher Hitchens, Steve Jurvetson, Jeff Hawkins, Aaron Patzer and everyone else who attended and generously contributed. (Even @God was there!)

The next evening Richard addressed a crowd of over 600 fans at Kepler's Bookstore about his new bestseller The Greatest Show on Earth: The Evidence for Evolution, after which he tirelessly signed books for hours! I had the honor of introducing Richard at both events, which I opened by invoking a prayer to the Flying Spaghetti Monster:

From your Heavenly head to your Farfelly feet, you’re cloaked in fresh ziti—both dashing and sweet!

You don’t like to boast

But you’re smarter than most

with Noodly Knowledge from Sky Monster College.

Your blond AngelHair , with buttery flair

Is streaked with linguine.

Your Son the Rotini,

Who did twist and coil, was born of virgin olive oil.

Vanquish the sinners who eat milk with pig,

who worship the physics, the bio the trig!

Show them whose meatballs are big!

Now, join me in common

To praise The Great Ramen.

Together say: Amen.

But a funny thing had happened on the way to Kepler's. While I was trying to leave the house, the kids were fussing, so Nathalie asked me to take one with me. I worried that they might be confused and bored by the event, so I turned to Eliot and asked him if hew knew what evolution is. My 7-year-old looked at me blankly, but curiously. I gave him the quick explanation, and asked him if he'd like to go with me to meet the world's expert on evolution. Eliot beamed, and said, "I'll get my tie!"

A few minutes later I found myself praying to the Flying Spaghetti Monster with Richard Dawkins, Eliot, and 600+ Kepler's customers. As I publicly reflected on Richard's compilation of exactly 150 years of supporting evidence for Darwin's theory (published in 1859), it occured to me that natural selection is one of those ideas that, once it's stated, is so obvious that everyone says, "Now why didn't I think of that?" To demonstrate what an elegantly simple concept it is, I invited Eliot up to the podium and briefly interviewed him (without any rehearsal). Here's the transcript of what was said (since, unfortunately, the video was taken down from YouTube for some reason):

DAVID: What is your name?

ELIOT: Eliot Cowan.

DAVID: How old are you?

ELIOT: Seven years old.

DAVID: And can you tell us, what is evolution?

ELIOT: It's when a baby animal is born with some kind of advantage that other animals don't have. The baby has other babies with the same advantage, and they have more babies with that advantage. Eventually the animals with the advantage pretty much take over.

DAVID: Can you give us an example?

ELIOT: Okay. A baby giraffe is born with an extra long neck, so it can reach leaves higher up in the trees. It has babies with an extra long neck, and they have babies with an extra long neck and so on. The giraffes with the extra long necks are more likely to survive, so they pretty much take over.

DAVID: When did you first learn about evolution?

ELIOT: An hour ago.

When Richard took the podium (as you can see below on YouTube), here's how he began:

RICHARD: Well after hearing Eliot give the outline of the theory, I might as well go home!

The Richard Dawkins Foundation web site features 11 excellent educational shorts about science (check them out here). And if you agree that science should supplant mythology and superstition as the basis for which we make decisions about our lives, families, nation, and planet, please consider emailing me your pledge to contribute to the foundation. I promise that Richard will personally show you his appreciation upon his next visit!